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Ask Ed & Red

Ed The Sock And His Gal Red
In every issue of FAZE MAGAZINE,
our readers bare their souls to
Ed & Red, Canada's high priest and priestess of morality, etiquette and, especially, common sense. Here are Ed & Red's unfettered and heartfelt replies.

Send your own questions to ed@faze.ca and hopefully Ed & Red will be able to answer you in an upcoming issue of FAZE.

ISSUE #37 Q & A

Faze Reader:
It seems like there is a reality TV show for everything! I WOULD LOVE, LOVE, LOVE TO BE ON ONE OF THESE—ANY ADVICE ON HOW TO GET THERE?
ED:
Well, you could marry a slacker jackass and have 6 kids but, nah, that’s been done. Or have constant drama with your circle of friends and get unnecessary plastic surgery. Or spend weeks half-starved and bug-infested in a jungle. Notice a pattern? None of the people in these shows are happy! If they were, nobody would watch! Do you really want to be made miserable in public for the entertainment of strangers? If so, start small with a job at a greasy food court job in a busy mall.
RED:
Reality shows have casting calls on the network websites, but you usually have to be a minimum age to participate. I’m with Ed though: reality TV looks more fun than it actually is.


Faze Reader:
My BFF and I got in this HUGE, blow-out fight the other week and we haven’t talked since. I don’t want this to end our friendship, but I’m always saying sorry, even if I didn’t do anything wrong. SHOULD I BE THE FIRST ONE TO TEXT OR SHOULD I JUST WAIT FOR HER TO APOLOGIZE TO ME?
ED:
How do I know? I’m the wrong guy to ask. Do I seem like a peacemaker- type to you?
RED:
UGH, this is such a classic problem. Apologizing for things that you don’t feel sorry for just leads to resentment. Perhaps text her and offer to talk without apologizing. Because you’re right: you shouldn’t feel like you have to bite the bullet to maintain the friendship. Good luck!


Faze Reader:
All my friends say that when I flirt, I’m really obvious and guys don’t like that—they want a girl to be “mysterious” so that there’s a bit of a chase. SO, IF I LIKE A GUY, HOW DO I LET HIM KNOW IT WITHOUT REALLY LETTING HIM KNOW IT?
ED:
Again, how do I know? I’m not a girl; I don’t know how to successfully flirt with a guy. As a guy, I can tell you there is no hard and fast rule as to what we like. Some guys like a girl to be really obvious, others like to feel like they have earned the lady’s interest. Some like it midway between. And then, our moods can change, along with what type of behaviour attracts us. Confused? Welcome to dating.
RED:
Ed, I think that she was looking for a male perspective. But I think you offered more sage wisdom than you realize. But as to the question “how do I let a guy know I like him without letting him KNOW it”… I think the only in-between is to suggest doing things together, to give him an opportunity to make his move. I think a general rule of thumb for any sort of social setting is to get people talking about things that interest them. It also gives you an opportunity to decide if you really like the person, instead of just the idea of the person.


Faze Reader:
Help! My mom is shopping at the same stores that I am now. And trust me, it’s obvious to everyone else that moms should not be wearing these clothes! BUT HOW DO I TELL HER THAT THE MINI SKIRT SHE’S TRYING ON IS WAY TOO SHORT WHEN I WANT TO BUY THE SAME ONE IN RED? WHAT WOULD MAKE HER GO ALL COUGAR TOWN ON ME?
ED:
What is this?! Did they deliberately choose questions I have no relationship to?? What would make her go Cougar Town on you? The same hormones that make you want to buy the red skirt. But whereas you buy clothes to make you look older, she wants ones that will make her feel young. And what should you say to her? How about you ask Red? The advice I’d give you would have you grounded until you’re 30.
RED:
Sorry Ed, I didn’t hear you. I was too busy wincing. Some stores offer free or inexpensive personal shoppers, and some boutiques, like Popcorn, in Richmond Hill, offer styling advice. I’d take your mom to one of these services and spend an afternoon with her that way. Let the professionals break it to her that her “fashion sense” is nonsense.


Faze Reader:
I don’t know what’s going on, but all of my friends like this girl that I absolutely hate—I mean, I can’t stand her, and they know this. We are supposed to stick together and support one another, but they are just making friends with her anyway. WHAT DO I DO?
ED:
Well, I might suggest growing the hell up. If, by your logic, you’re all supposed to stick together, then why aren’t you supporting them in their decision? Being supportive doesn’t mean becoming mindless zombieslaves. You don’t have to like her, and they don’t have to stop liking her. You can either learn to spend time with people who aren’t your favourites, or find something else to do when that person is included in the plans. Trust me, you’re better off learning to deal with an idiot among the crowd, because as you get older, you’ll find there are more and more idiots out there.
RED:
Ed just proved that he is a boy and does not understand the kinds of war zones that schools can be for girls. He’s right that not liking someone is not a good enough reason for your friends to avoid this girl, but I don’t think we’ve gotten the whole story here. There is an author and educator named Rachel Simmons who specializes in these kinds of conflicts. This is her field of expertise, and she has a whole website devoted to interpersonal conflicts between teen girls. The address is www.rachelsimmons. com. Her books are great.


Look out for Ed's compilation CD!
Featuring "songs that don't suck"
(With tracks from Sum 41, Swollen Members, Gob, Bif Naked, LiveOnRelease and more)




Follow Faze on Twitter @FazeMagazine





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