In every issue of FAZE MAGAZINE, our readers bare their souls to Ed The Sock & Red, Canada’s high priest and priestess of morality, etiquette and, especially, common sense. Here are Ed & Red’s unfettered and heartfelt replies.
Send in your own questions and hopefully Ed & Red will be able to answer you in an upcoming issue of FAZE.
ISSUE #24 Q & A
Faze Reader:
I’ve liked this boy in my class for a while, but I’m too scared to tell him because we’re really good friends. I told him once last year, but then I thought I was a bit too young to be dating, so I told him I didn’t like him anymore. But now whenever I try to tell him he thinks I’m joking. I don’t know if he likes me, but I like him and I don’t want to ruin our friendship. What should I do?
ED REPLIES:
Let me ask you something: if you were enjoying a hot shower and suddenly the water turned ice cold, would you be in any hurry to use that shower again? Well, that’s what you did to this guy. You made him feel good, then suddenly told him you weren’t interested. I wouldn’t go anywhere near you. But then, I’m not a hormone-crazed teenager, so you may still have a chance. Try explaining to him what happened last year. Sometimes honesty is the best policy. And don’t worry too much about your friendship—you’re a teenager; teenagers go through friends like Kleenex.
Faze Reader:
I told my crush I like him so much, but I don’t know if he likes me back. He asked me out one Saturday, and I asked if he considered it a date or just for fun. He said, “Just for fun.” The week before he asked me out, he was so sweet and nice and kind to me, but I’m really not sure if he likes me now. But I can’t stop liking him. He’s very addictive. There’s no reason to dislike him. I don’t know what to do. Help me!
ED REPLIES:
Letters like this make me glad I’m past adolescence. If you know this guy and can’t figure him out, how am I supposed to navigate the minefield that is teenage romance? Okay, here goes…You put him on the spot when you asked if it was a date or just for fun. If he said “date” and you thought it was just for fun, he would have been embarrassed. So he played it safe. But guys don’t ask girls out “just for fun.” And even if they do, sometimes it becomes more than that. So my advice? Next time he asks you out, just say “yes” and stop interrogating him about his intentions. Leave that for your parents to do.
Faze Reader:
I’m worried about my friend. She’s been dating this guy and he keeps leaving her for someone smarter and more beautiful. This has happened twice now, and she always swears she will never date him again. But then he emails her when he’s single, saying he’s sorry and he wants to get back together. I don’t know what to do.
ED REPLIES:
Try videotaping your friend the next time he dumps her. Then, play it back to her whenever she’s thinking of taking him back. Seeing herself blubbering about him might cut through her self-imposed amnesia and remind her what a jerk this guy is.
Faze Reader:
I need your help big time. My best friend and I used to get along so well until this guy came along. We both thought he was so hot and would obsess over him 24/7. Then she stopped liking him, so it was just me obsessing over him. She seems to be getting mad and our friendship is dying. What should I do?
ED REPLIES:
Well, you could wait until the next bright, shiny object makes you lose interest in the current one. Judging by the level of maturity you exhibit in your letter, that should happen any moment now. But two red flags: 1) obsession isn’t healthy; 2) if teenage friendships died every time someone went ga-ga, no friendship would last five minutes. There may be real problems with your friendship that run deeper than you think.
Faze Reader:
I moved to a new town and hooked up with this totally hot boy. We dated almost a whole year. He was the first boy I said “I love you” to and really meant it. And, he was the first boy to ever say it back. It’s been almost a year and a half since we were together and I still have major feelings for him. How do I get over him?
ED REPLIES:
You never forget your first love, but there’s a reason they call it a first love: because there will be a second, a third, etc. The best way to get over him is to find someone else, which won’t happen if you’re sitting there pining for this joker.
Faze Reader:
I have a friend who is very depressed about her love life because she can’t find a boyfriend. What should I tell her?
ED REPLIES:
Again, I’m glad I’m not a teenager anymore. You guys are depressed when you don’t have a boyfriend/girlfriend, depressed when you find one and discover it isn’t always perfect, and depressed when you break up. It’s amazing the human race still breeds with all this teenage drama. Tell her the worst thing she can do is be too hungry for a boyfriend, because then she’ll jump at whoever is willing to fill that role—which usually ends in heartbreak. (See the cycle I listed above.)
Faze Reader:
My friend’s boyfriend hates my boyfriend. What should my friend and I do?
ED REPLIES:
Provoke the two guys into fighting and sell tickets. If you have to endure them acting like idiots, you should at least get some benefit from it. If that’s not your thing, then maybe you should just avoid double dating. Is this really a question you couldn’t answer yourself?
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