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Ask Ed & Red

Ed The Sock And His Gal Red
In every issue of FAZE MAGAZINE,
our readers bare their souls to
Ed & Red, Canada's high priest and priestess of morality, etiquette and, especially, common sense. Here are Ed & Red's unfettered and heartfelt replies.

Send your own questions to ed@faze.ca and hopefully Ed & Red will be able to answer you in an upcoming issue of FAZE.

ISSUE #48 Q & A

Faze Reader:
I have this friend, and we recently had a falling out. She still wants to be friends, but I don’t. She is rude to all my other friends, shallow and selfcentred. SHE IS ALSO KNOWN TO HOLD A GRUDGE. I really want to tell her there is no chance of us being friends again unless she changes her ways. How can I tell her this without her getting mad and hating me forever?
RED:
I’m going through this myself right now, so I know how hard this is. It’s very likely the other person will hate me forever, but they’re no longer a drain on my energy, creativity and spirit, so it’s a trade-off. With some people, any request for them to change their behaviour will make them blow up, and they can say some terribly hurtful things. But being true to yourself is always the best course, and you seem to have very good reasons to not want to be friends with this person.
Set firm conditions based on what you need to be comfortable and stick to them. No matter what, don’t get drawn into petty arguments. You don’t have to respond to every accusation and cruel comment. For instance, send one text and stop. Don’t send three texts at a time. If you’re making long responses, then you’re getting pulled into the drama.
ED:
Wait…what? You don’t want to be friends, but you are afraid of her getting mad at you? Ever heard the line about having your cake and eating it too? Why do you care if someone you don’t like and don’t want to be around doesn’t like you? Spend more energy worrying about your real friends. And stop wanting everyone to like you; it’s a fairy tale and sets you up to be taken advantage of in the future. Or, like, tomorrow with this girl.


Faze Reader:
I’ve always been nervous to get changed in the locker room because I’M SCRAWNY AND DON’T HAVE HUGE MUSCLES like the jocks in my class. My friend suggested that I start taking muscle enhancers. Should I take the risk or just endure the embarrassment?
RED:
This friend is an idiot. Do not, under any circumstances, start taking ANYTHING that arti cially alters your body. Products that claim to increase muscle tend to be extremely expensive, and they really aren’t a magic pill. Many powders, shakes and bars are also deceptively high in calories, because they’re designed for athletes who are burning huge amounts of energy. While diet can help build muscle, genetics tend to be at the core of how beefy you are, and the fact that you recognize there’s a risk indicates to me that you’re looking for Ed to yell at you to con rm that this is a dumb idea.
ED:
Exactly what is there to be embarrassed about? I don’t like to stereotype, but I have found that guys who spend too much time building up their physique are usually idiots who value their appearance because they don’t have much else to offer. A housecat that draws spots on himself does not make a convincing cheetah, but have you ever met a housecat who wasn’t happy being himself? It’s good to be t, but if your body type isn’t bulky, who cares? Keep working on developing your brain and your interpersonal skills. Sure, jocks seem to be the popular ones in high school, but trust me—high school ends, and girls especially start looking for something more than a meathead.


Faze Reader:
I just started a new job and MY CO-WORKER IS A TOTAL SUCK-UP! She acts like a perfect angel in front of my boss, but when he’s not around she’s really nasty! How should I deal with this?
RED:
Keep in mind that this person is not trustworthy and keep your distance. You’re not at work to make friends. You’re at work to earn a paycheque. If the nastiness violates your company’s workplace harassment policy, you have every right to speak to your boss about this, but otherwise: mean people suck!
ED:
You may want to thank this person for introducing you to the real world. Well, maybe not literally, but learning how to stomach two-faced people is an important life lesson. Just be glad she has only two faces; I’ve worked with people who have more faces than there are hours in the day.


Look out for Ed's compilation CD!
Featuring "songs that don't suck"
(With tracks from Sum 41, Swollen Members, Gob, Bif Naked, LiveOnRelease and more)




Follow Faze on Twitter @FazeMagazine





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