Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt calling it quits has come as a shock to most of us. The power couple have been together for 10 years and have six children together. Despite all the wonderful humanitarian work they’ve done, their large family, and their celebrity couple status, sometimes things just don’t work out.
At some point or another, you may have experienced the heartache of a breakup. We’ve totally been there too and now Pitt and Jolie are freshly going through it. Breakups can get messy since it’s dealing with broken hearts, but we’ve got tips to keep you grounded through the experience.
Here are some basic do’s and don’t’s when it comes to breaking up:
DO make it clear why the breakup is happening—being honest is a good practice to get into and while it may feel difficult to maintain truth-telling during a breakup (whether to spare someone’s feelings or to avoid difficult topics), it’s possible for you to be clear and honest about why it’s not working out.
DON’T go into the breakup guns-blazing, ready for a fight. If you know it’s over, you can save yourself the mental energy of a hostile confrontation by going into it prepared in what you’ll say and ready to bow out. This will require you to know fully if you’re ready for the relationship to end or not. If not, take some time to consider what’s not working in the relationship and how you want to discuss it with your partner, without it turning down the well-worn path of your arguments.
If you’re the one being broken up with, know that it’s okay to ask for clarity concerning the ‘why’ of it, but also recognize that ultimately you and your partner aren’t connecting any more and it’s not worth being with someone who isn’t in love with you. You deserve to be with someone who fully wants to be with you. You can respect their decision and affirm that you’re worthy of love, even if it isn’t from them anymore.
DO have a support system in place for the post-breakup blues. Perhaps it’s a few close friends, a relative, or a trusted online space where you can spend time with people who care about you and will remind you how wonderful you truly are.
DON’T turn to social media as a way to slur your ex or expose all of your internal thoughts. Following a breakup, there are a lot of emotions stirring around and it’s good to give yourself some time to cool off and reflect whether you really want the world to know all of your personal business.
DO make space for ‘me’ time. Go for a solo hike, have a relaxing bath, do yoga in the park. Whatever it is, make some time to be on your own—your the best ally you can have through a breakup. If you’re on your own side, it will make the whole experience much smoother.
DON’T isolate yourself. Breaking off completely from the outside world can make you feel very alone post-breakup, so make sure to balance solitude with quality friend time.
Whether you’re an A-list celebrity or not, breakups are going to be painful. So the best you can do is approach it with as much grace and dignity as possible and love yourself through the whole process.
Image via CNN.