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Eat at Whitey's

(Tommy Boy)

Zack's grade: D

Now, part of my job involves being brutally honest about the bad points of an artist's music and sometimes that's no easy task.

Eat At Whitey's is very easy to criticize.

In three words I will convey exactly how I feel about this album: I HATE IT. No offense Everlast, but I have never supported your career outside of the "Jump Around" years with House of Pain. Perhaps I am getting too critical in my old age (19 soon...)

There is not one song on this CD that holds my attention or presents me with an idea of artistic growth since his first attempt at dabbling with the "tortured singer-songwriter" concept. All of the lyrics are very self absorbed, making random attempts at poetic devices, but falling short of wit, like in the song Black Coffee ("She smelled like flowers, she tastes like toffee/She kissed me slowly, she held me softly." (uhhhhh, okay buddy, how sentimental...), or I might just really dislike the idea that everyone's continuing to hop on the rap-rock bandwagon. Well let me be the guy to say, "You're too old for this crap!"

The lyrics could really use a shot of viagra to strengthen their flaccid nature! I kid you not, everything sounds the same! I can't stand his mono-tone, gravely-voiced, yowling or Everlast's uncanny ability to kill any form of contrast in his tunes. I would rather listen to Tiny Tim sing AC/DC hits while choking on glass, then have to sit through another Everlast single. Even though he does makes a valid effort to go the Carlos Santana Supernatural route and fill up the album with name brand guest appearences from such artist's as Carlos himself, B-Real, N'Dea Davenport, Rahzel and even an obscure cameo from one of my favourite slide guitar players Warren Haynes; nothing is able to save Eat At Whitey's from eventually closing down. I've tried the food here and it really sucks.

Review by Zack Salsberg, 2001

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