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Black Ice

by Lindsay D, Perth, W.Aus, Australia, Age 14

Antarctica. The only word to describe it. Not a continent, not an island, not really any place in this world. To say that would be to disrespect it. This place is unique. Indescribable.

Pitiless.

The wind tugs at the ropes of the flimsy tent, howling like a banshee, the architect of lifelessness. An illustration of our weakness. Laughing at our feeble attempts to tame it. What is it in human nature that makes us see something, then feel that we must know what it is, feel that we should know its deepest secrets? Some things are indescribable. Some things should not be described. Some things flaunt our methods of communication. I think that this is why we use Inuit words to attempt to explain this place. They know places like this better than us. They are happy to exist in conditions like these- just exist. They do not seek to explain or harness it any more than is absolutely necessary. That’s why they’re still alive. They know their boundaries.

We do not know ours.

I do not know mine.

But I think I’m starting to understand now. Too late, I think, looking at my shattered leg.

The dogs are silent. Do they know their own mortality? As a dog refuses to jump a chasm that is too big for it, I see that they, in reality, are wiser than us. We’d jump anyway and fall to our deaths. A so-called challenge, proof of our idiocy. They don’t seek to challenge themselves. Because, unchangeably, challenge leads to self- destruction.

I try to recall feelings. The smell of grass, of gum trees. The taste of red wine. Heat. Heat, just a distant memory now. As one can imagine the taste of food when hungry, warmth can now be imagined, and as an addict needs supply, so I need these feelings.

I need to feel like I’m on this planet again. I need to go home.

The knife is long and sharp. I see my battered face in its reflection. A sad smile is upon it.

I’m going home.


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